Teens with ADHD and/or autism often have lower self-esteem than their neurotypical peers and struggle more in social situations. Learning social skills in group and individual therapy can help them overcome some of these self-esteem issues, but they’ll need to continue to practice and reinforce them so they become habit.

Why Neurodivergence Affects Self-Esteem

Neurodivergent people experience the world differently. They don’t read social cues as easily as neurotypical people, often struggle with tasks that might be considered routine because they have impaired executive dysfunction, and feel like they need to hide who they truly are.

• Executive dysfunction – Planning time, paying attention, and staying on track are controlled by executive functioning. Neurodivergent people have a hard time with executive functioning, which can lead to frustration and embarrassment, especially if they’re working in groups.
• Difficulty with social norms – Body language and typical social expectations aren’t always obvious or comfortable for neurodivergent people. For instance, many autistic people avoid or minimize eye contact, sarcasm, or small talk, which can make communication difficult.
• Masking – Just because neurodivergent people have a hard time with social norms doesn’t mean they’re ignorant of their existence. Masking is when a neurodivergent person changes their outward personality to try and fit in.

How You Can Help Your Teen Build Personal and Social Confidence

You should never try to “fix” your neurodivergent teen. Instead, help them develop the skills they need to succeed. Confidence in who they are and how they engage with the world can go a long way in both making healthy connections and the willingness to learn new things. Fostering personal and social confidence takes time and patience, but there are practical ways to set them up for success.

Start Small

Smaller groups or one-on-one interactions can provide safe environments for your teen to practice navigating conversations and relationships without the added pressure of larger, noisier settings. Gradually scaling up to bigger group settings once they feel ready allows them to keep their confidence rolling.

Hobbies

If you have a neurodivergent teen, there’s a good chance they already have a hobby they’re deeply invested in. Encouraging them to channel energy into these passions not only nurtures their confidence but can also provide meaningful social opportunities. Whether they’re into gaming, music, art, or technology, there are others who share that enthusiasm, and connecting with them can give them a sense of belonging.

Find Healthy Outlets

Social media can be tough for teenagers to navigate, especially since they constantly promote unrealistic expectations and feelings of missing out on the next great thing. Healthy boundaries with social media can still allow them to interact with friends or acquaintances in hobby communities, but sometimes, it’s best to take a break. Introducing your teen to healthier outlets—like journaling, physical activity, or even simple mindfulness exercises—can help them manage these pressures.

Learn to Practice

People with autism and ADHD—even though they may be highly skilled and exceptionally intelligent—often hate to practice. They can become easily bored when things are too easy, frustrated when something doesn’t come naturally, and distracted because of issues with executive functioning. Just like other skills, social skills require practice—and practice might require practice. Breaking down practice sessions into manageable chunks, finding creative ways to make them fun and rewarding, and framing practice as an ongoing process rather than a pass-fail test can protect their self-esteem and motivate them to keep trying.

Discover Ways to Unmask

Many neurodivergent teens feel pressured to “mask” or suppress their true personalities just to fit in. Over time, this can lead to exhaustion and a fractured sense of self. Discovering safe environments or relationships where they can unmask and express themselves authentically is crucial. It allows them to connect more deeply without fear of judgment. Whether it’s with trusted family, close friends, or like-minded peers, creating these spaces encourages self-acceptance and empowerment.

Ask for Help When You Need It

You won’t have all the answers or the best ways to help your neurodivergent teen with their self-confidence, and that’s okay. If your teen is struggling with constant frustration, feeling like they just can’t fit in, or are depressed or anxious about being around others, it’s time to find support.

Whenever you need help, reach out to the professionals at Family First Adolescent Services. We celebrate neurodiversity and never try to “fix” the teens in our treatment programs. Instead, we help them learn social skills, ways they can build their self-confidence, and find out how to express their true selves. Call 888.904.5947 or contact us online to get started.