When your teen refuses to go to school, you might be tempted to chalk it up to bad behavior or lack of motivation. But they’re not likely to want to stay home because of laziness. There’s often more to your teen’s behavior than what it looks like on the surface—anxiety surrounding academic pressures, negative social interactions, or their changing mind and body can cause them to freeze and want to stay somewhere safe. If your teenager won’t go to school because of anxiety, you can offer support so they can find ways to manage their feelings.
Family First provides help to parents just like you, offering support when your teen refuses to go to school. Call 888.904.5947 to learn about adolescent anxiety treatment at our center in South Florida.
School Refusal Is a Sign of Something Deeper
Even if your child has been a stellar student in the past, middle and high school can feel like constant states of transition. They’re likely to be in new physical environments, surrounded by new teachers, staff, and peers. Additionally, they’ll be expected to start harnessing independence that they’re not experienced with yet. Moving between different classes that dive deeper into subjects and being expected to stay focused during longer blocks of time can quickly leave them feeling overwhelmed.
But teens are resilient and often adapt to these changes with some practice. Some, however, run into challenges they can’t cope with and refuse to go to school. School refusal goes beyond complaining about school and the drag of being a teen in a world seemingly built for adults. It can cause physical symptoms similar to panic, like chest pain, headaches, and nausea.1
Why Won’t My Teen Go to School?
There may be several reasons your teen won’t go to school, and they’re not always simply explained.
- Fear of failure and academic pressure – Teens today are expected to excel in their classes, participate in extracurricular activities, and build a strong college resume. Even if you set healthy expectations, external pressure can make your teen feel like they have to be perfect or else.
- Social anxiety – Some teens struggle with social interactions and may feel anxious about going to school because of the fear of being judged or rejected by their peers. This kind of anxiety can be worsened by social media, where teens are constantly comparing themselves to others.
- Bullying – Even with so much progress made in addressing bullying, it’s still a prevalent issue. In-person and cyberbullying both cause distress and can make it hard for teens to feel safe at school.
- Fear for parents – If your teen grew up in an environment where they felt obligated to be a physical or emotional caretaker for a guardian, they may feel anxious about going out independently. On the other hand, teens who are too dependent on their parents may struggle with separation anxiety.
- Trauma – Today’s students live in a world where school violence is a real possibility, which can dissuade them from wanting to go to school. Additionally, teens who’ve experienced traumatic events in their personal lives may struggle with attending school as they try to cope with their emotions.
Other factors could also contribute to school refusal, such as neurodevelopmental challenges, grief and loss, or undiagnosed mental health issues. It’s essential to address the underlying reasons instead of simply labeling your teen as “lazy” or “difficult.”
How Can I Help My Teen?
If your teen is refusing to go to school, it’s important not to dismiss their feelings or force them into attending. Instead, try the following strategies:
Listen and Validate Their Emotions
Being an open and non-judgmental sounding board for your teen can go a long way in helping them feel understood. Talking through their fears and worries can help them feel less alone in their struggles. It’s normal for your teen to feel anxious or stressed. Validate and encourage your teen to turn to you when they’re feeling overwhelmed.
Learn About Mental Health with Them
Research mental health and ways to cope with anxiety together. Knowing that you’re on their side can strengthen your relationship and help them build the skills they need to manage their emotions. Teens are more attuned with the world around them than you might think; help them explore their resources so they can healthily navigate the way ahead.
Work with School Officials
Work together with your child’s school to find solutions that will help your teen feel more comfortable attending. This could include accommodations for academic pressures, addressing bullying or social anxiety, or providing a safe and supportive environment at school.
Seek Professional Help
If your teen’s refusal to go to school persists, it may be beneficial to seek the support of a mental health professional who specializes in adolescent therapy. They can help identify underlying issues and provide strategies for coping and managing their emotions.
Talk therapy and group settings can support your teen as they learn that they are not alone in their feelings. It’s easy for teens to be wrapped up in their own world, not knowing that there are people out there who feel like them and those who can help.
Call to Get Support from Family First Adolescent Services
If your teen is refusing to go to school, Family First Adolescent Services can provide the support you and your child need. During treatment, teens receive academic support, group and individual therapy, and opportunities to experience the world around them in new, challenging ways. Our team of professionals consistently communicates with parents about their progress while engaging guardians in therapeutic and educational sessions to create a healthier environment at home.
We offer a residential program for boys 13–18, where they live at our safe campus in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, while receiving 24/7 support. Boys and girls of the same age group can receive support in our day program, which allows them to return home every evening after therapy. Call 888.904.5947 or complete our online form to get support.
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